Why Your Identity Should Be More Than Your Day Job (Part 2)

If you found yourself in an unwanted situation of feeling like your identity is wrapped up in your job, I'd like to share my suggestions on moving forward and creating the life that you want. If work is overriding every aspect of your life and setbacks impact your self-worth, it's probably time to consider making some changes.    

Decide what's important to you

Now that you no longer want your job to define who you are, it's essential to revisit your core principles and values. Take some time to think about what's important to you and what you'd like to come next, and then make a plan for making those changes. 

Set boundaries

With most of us now carrying our offices in our pockets or working from home, having clear working boundaries are even more critical. Have a dedicated workspace at home that you can walk away from at the end of the day, and use your clothes to define what you're doing – get dressed for 'work' in the morning, and swap out to leisurewear once you've clocked out or arrived home. Although your boundaries will depend on the type of work you do and your position in the company, adhering to things like not checking emails on the weekend should be achievable. Also, use tools like auto-replies and voicemail to communicate your boundaries to others, i.e., "Thanks for contacting me; I've left work for the day but will endeavour to get back to you in the next 24 hours". 

Identify outside interests

Research strongly suggests that pursuing passions outside of work is not only good for our overall well-being but professional performance too. Sometimes though, you haven't allowed yourself to 'want' to do anything outside of work for so long, you've forgotten how to do it. If that's the case, take some time to let your mind wander back to when you were younger – what did you love to do? Was it writing, singing, or exercise? Did you spend hours playing computer games or drawing? Once you've worked it out, don't over commit or rush out to do a year's course on something; start small and see where it leads as you enjoy getting to know yourself again outside of work. 

Rebuild your network

Those closest to you would have been the most affected by your over-commitment to work. Start with a conversation with friends, family and colleagues. Arrange to meet for drinks after work (and actually make it!) or ask them to join you to do something totally out of character - like a salsa class – as you try to revisit the things you loved doing with them. 

Now that you've read my suggestions on making this change and being more than just your job title, I challenge you not to jump straight into the 'profession question' next time you meet someone new. Instead, ask them some open-ended questions like what they like to do in their free time or their plans for the coming weekend. You might be pleasantly surprised with where the conversation goes. A lot of the above is likely to make you feel uncomfortable as you move away from the clear work deadlines, structures, and systems you're used to. Still, the effort will be well worth it as you allow yourself (and others) to be defined by your beliefs, hobbies, and ideas rather than what your career is.