Why Your Identity Should Be More Than Your Day Job (Part 1)
Many of us in the Western world have been raised to believe that work comes first and that it's normal to be entirely dedicated to your occupation. This 24/7 availability for work means that we are often glued to our smartphones, obsessively checking email, texts and notifications. It's all been very much normalised, and social media feeds are full of people proudly working 60 hours a week, and some are even sharing about their extensive side-hustles. Unfortunately, we live in a society that defines success by how busy our lives are and how much we achieve.
For some, this isn't an issue, and they continue to live fulfilling lives. However, there are those who work tirelessly in their careers for years and years, only to wake up one day and realise they aren't enjoying where they are in their career and life. Then there are those who have the work taken away from them for whatever reason and suddenly realise they have no idea who they are without their job titles.
There's a word for this – enmeshed. Often used in family therapy, the definition of enmeshed is - a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. But instead of another person, it's your job or career.
How do we recognise that we're no longer able to separate our own identity from our work persona? Take a look at the following questions as a starting point:
1. How much time do you spend thinking about work outside of the office?
Research by LinkedIn last year revealed that 26% of UK workers struggle to switch off at the end of the day. It's all right sometimes to experience this, but if you're frequently consumed with work-related thoughts and find it challenging to have a conversation that's not about work – it may be time to take a closer look at why.
2. How quickly do you tell people that you've just met about your job?
The age-old question about someone's job is such a conversation starter that it's become a normal part of life. The problem arises when you cannot move beyond what you do for work to continue having a genuine conversation.
3. Where do you spend most of your time?
Do you feel like you're always at your desk, including during weekends? Are those closest to you often complaining that you're in the office all the time? That's a red flag that you might need to look at your work/life boundaries.
4. What do you do outside of work?
Do you have any hobbies that don't rely on work-related skills and are done outside of your employment? Do you regularly spend time with those nearest to you without obsessing about work? Do you spend time exercising other parts of your brain when you can? If you're avidly shaking your head "no", – there's likely an issue.
5. And the big one - how would you feel if you could no longer continue in your profession?
No one wants to lose their job, but if the thought of losing yours make you physically break into a cold sweat or turn your stomach – it might be time to initiate change.
The truth of the matter is that there are no guarantees. Things can and do, often unexpectedly, happen, and 2020 was proof of that. So, if you feel that your identity is too wrapped up in your profession, it's probably a good time to make a few changes in this space.
In the next blog, we'll look at some suggestions to support you in initiating this change.